I have been wanting to update how things are going with technology at my school since writing about my technology philosophy earlier in the year. If I were to grade the program overall, I think I would give it a C, maybe a C minus. Before I began changing the program, I might have given it a D minus so I think that is an improvement.
The grade is completely subjective and I tend to be hard on myself. Part of my problem is my own perception of reality. I tend to focus on the negatives and not the postives of the situation. I probably have unrealistic expectations of what I believe should happen, and when they don't, I overlook the good things.
Another issue that I have (I have many, but I am not going to try to list them here) is that I have the belief ingrained in me that success should be measured in a physical, or visual way. For example, building a house. When you are finished you can tell that you are successful because there is a house where before, there was none. If look at the technology program at my school in this way, it will never be a success. There is very little in the way of visual indicators to determine the technology progress at my school.
As an example of something positive, I do have quite a few teachers who have their own web page this year. Ten teachers have web pages that are available for the world to see. Not a great number, but last year there was only one. So, it is a little better than what it used to be last year, but I always want more.
Four days a week I am teaching in one of the two computer labs, and one day a week is devoted to planning and tying up all of the loose ends that I couldn't get to the rest of the rest of the week. I always feel behind, I always feel like there is more to do, and I remain unsatisfied. I want to be creative, and explore new areas and ideas. But, it seems that there are only 24 hours in a day... I thought there was more.
I do love my job. I get to work with students that value what I do. That makes me feel great. But, of course, nothing is perfect, and the teachers often seem to find ways to ignore or resist the changes I want to make. I understand where they are coming from (lack of time, other things to do, their brain is full and they can't learn anything else), but they do not see where they are going with that outlook. Unfortunately, the students lose out on a richer and more diverse education.
So here is what I will be focusing on for the rest of the year-
1) I think I need to take the good things and just try to build on that positive foundation for the next level. It is hard, especially in the blah winter months, but it is a good place to start for me.
2) It has also been shared with me that could be nicer to people. I can't argue with that, niceness is hard to measure, but I know I can always do better. Maybe exercising more would help me with this- it couldn't hurt.
3) I need to stop taking myself so seriously. It seems strange for me to say, because I never really have taken much seriously, but I need to step back and try and see things in a new way.
It is important for me to remember that there is no destination to my job, but there is a path. I need to find the best path and bring as many people with me as I can.