Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Live and on the Air!

I haven't seen my friend Sean in a couple of years since he moved to Ocracoke Island, NC. I decided it was time to fix that, so I emailed him and he told me to come on down.

Sean mentioned a month ago or so that he was doing a radio show on WOVV FM 90.1, I couldn't believe it when he said I could join him on the air if I was interested. Of course, I was interested!

I have no idea what we will play or what ridiculous things we will talk about, but we will be on the air in Ocracoke on Friday, July 22nd from 1- 5 pm. No joke!

You can listen live here.

I hope the FCC won't be listening. I wonder if he has one of those 5 second delays with a mute button?

I will be taking requests from now on- get them in and I will play them! Contact me via Google+, Facebook, Twitter, email, leave a comment, hit me on my cell, text me, or shout loudly. But not up close- I hate when people yell in my face.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My New T-shirt is Here!

After writing the Godzilla Hates Technology post I just couldn’t shake the idea. I kept thinking there was something more that I needed to do with the idea. And then it struck me-i t would make an awesome T-shirt!

I took the original design idea from Warning Sign Generator and recreated it (enlarging it, redrawing with Vector tools) using Macromedia Fireworks, and adding a Godzilla font found on

I decided that the image would be best on the back of a shirt, but I had to have something on the front. So I slapped a big red X on just the Godzilla part of the image and placed it over the left front side (over the heart) of the shirt.

Using I made the dream happen and for a total of about $17 (I Googled Zazzle coupons) I was able to have the shirt made and delivered to my front door. It looks awesome! I thought I would share my shirt with the world, so if you would like your own Godzilla Hates Technology Tshirt, click the link below.

Look for a personalized gift at Zazzle.

The best part is that the shirt arrived just in time for ISTE 2011 in Philadelphia. The perfect shirt for a educational technology conference. Yes, I will be wearing it there!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


It makes me feel unimportant to someone when they begin a conversation with the one word, "Question." Sometimes they might vary this a little by saying, "A question." Or maybe, "Oh I have a question for you." If the word, "question" appears in the first sentence then I wonder about that person’s manners.

Polite society says that you should always greet a person with a, "Hello" or some other harmless introductory word or phrase. Then after pleasantries have been exchanged, you can present the goal of the conversation from your point of view. In this way, you ease into the question; sort of like dipping your foot in the pool to test the temperature before performing a cannonball to splash people at the poolside.

At least that is what my mother taught me.

I don’t have a need to be important to everyone, but it annoys me when people walk right up to me and say, "Question." It reminds me of Dwight from the office. He is socially inept and oblivious of that fact. I am certain that people who speak to me in that way do not fit into that category, socially inept. So I can only believe that they do not care enough about me to extend the conversation for an additional 5 seconds.

I do, however, love Jim (another character from the office) when he imitates Dwight in episode 21 "Product Recall," in Season 3, and begins a conversation with the word, "Question."

Typography (, or this more complete version.

Now, should someone begin a conversation with the magic word, I will interrupt with this-

Random Person: Question.

Me: Question. What kind of bear is best?

Random Person: That's a ridiculous question (not really sure what they will say, this is what Dwight said in return).

Me: False. Black bear.

Random Person: That's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought-- (not really sure what they will say, this is what Dwight said in return)

Me: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Random Person: Bears do not... What is going on?! What are you doing?! (not really sure what they will say, this is what Dwight said in return)

I will not reply to anyone in this way as an attempt to disrespect them, but for my own personal amusement. In this case I am being proactive, preparing a response in an attempt to lighten the moment, for myself. If they get the joke, great. If not, perhaps they will not approach me with that word first the next time they want to know something, and I will get what I truly want. Just a, "Hey, how are you doing today?" would be nice.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

End of the World?

The End Of The World As We Know It

The promise of an uncertain future has never been more intimidating. After reading yet again that there are some
people who believe that the world will end on May 21st of this year, I had to ask myself, “Why did I buy those Jimmy Buffett tickets?”

I have never seen Jimmy Buffett live and I thought they would be a great Mother’s Day gift for my wife. But I had heard this rumor of the end of the world. What was I thinking? The Buffett concert is supposed to be on May 26th. If anyone is still alive, that would be a great time of tribulation for the remaining population of the earth. I picture fire, panic in the streets, looting, random acts of violence, and general unpleasantness. That would hardly be the time for a
Cheeseburger in Paradise, or a visit to Margaritaville, even if Jimmy and my wife and I are still alive.

If the world really does end, I won’t get a chance to get the awesome
Captain America Slurpee cups (Movie in theaters July 22, 2011) that are sure to be coming right after all of the Thor cups are bought up at the 7-11 stores. I am working very hard to keep an updated super hero plastic cup collection going. I have had to fight my wife to keep them, and now Armageddon? That doesn’t seem fair.

I wonder why the followers of
Harold Camping would latch on this doomsday prediction. Mr. Camping had already predicted that the world would end in 1994, and here we are in 2011 for his next attempt. How many times is ok to get this kind of thing wrong? Maybe it’s the three strike rule and then after that he will be ignored.

I have many questions about this idea of the end of the world. Certainly one day the world will end. But
what about the Mayans? I don’t understand why someone would choose to believe that the world will end a week from now and then sell all their belongings and try to convince others. Why not save up your money and throw a huge end of the world party on some tropical island? They could invite all their friends and then when they are all taken up to heaven, they will be easier to find since they will be together.

What will happen on Sunday, May 22nd? The continuation of natural disasters on a biblical scale? Or will Mr. Camping get to pick a new date?

I choose to believe that I will get more than one of the new Captain America cups. It is a small attainable goal if I am still around, something that will make me happy. If I am going to pick something bigger to believe in, then I look forward to world peace, space travel, and a positive ending to all of humanity’s problems. Maybe my ideas are as
crazy as Mr. Camping’s. Either way, can we just hold off on the destruction until after Buffett? It is just 5 more days, and I can give up on the cups…

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Godzilla Hates Technology Go-Go Godzilla, by Blue Oyster Cult

Godzilla is a monster that was created by technology (a nuclear explosion). He uses his enormous size and special powers to destroy everything in his path. Sometimes he fights the good fight protecting humanity, but he also likes to fight men and demolish their puny toys.

One day when I was checking my daily
Diigo updates in my inbox, I came across the Warning Sign Generator. I cracked up when I saw the Godzilla graphic that I could add to a sign. Seeing him crush an airplane instantly made me think “Godzilla Hates Technology.” Just like any bad idea will do, it stuck with me until I could wrap it up in one complete package.

I think that if Godzilla could be interviewed, it might go something like this…

Piers Morgan: Godzilla, thank you for coming on the show tonight. I know our audience really appreciates you coming by to share your thoughts.

Godzilla: No problem. I don’t mind, but can we hurry up? I really wanted to crush a village or two tonight before I hit the sack.

Piers Morgan: Alright then, why do you hate technology?

Godzilla: Buttons, plugs, lights and buzzing noises… Ugh! Who needs it? I would just like to go back to the good old days when I giant lizard could just get some sleep in peace and quiet.

Piers Morgan: What if you took the time to learn about technology? Then you might see how it can make your life better and easier.

Godzilla: I don’t have time for that mess. Learning about it keeps me from doing my thing; destroying and using my Atomic Breath. That is good stuff. How could life be any better than that? No, technology is bad, so I crush it.

Piers Morgan: Maybe if you had someone help you? You could ask for help from someone you trust.

Godzilla: Are you kidding me? I am an all-powerful being! Asking for help would be admitting weakness and telling the world I am stupid! That is not going to happen.

Piers Morgan: You have worked with others to overcome a common foe in the past,
Destroy All Monsters, comes to mind. Could you work with people?

Godzilla: No. The temptation to destroy you and your creations is too great.

Piers Morgan: At times you seem to have shown protective feelings for people. Do you feel any sense of protection for people? Or is that just an odd circumstantial accident?

Godzilla: Whatever makes your day go better, buddy. But truth be told, I like you little guys. You are delicious! Just kidding…

Piers Morgan: You scared me there for a second.

Godzilla: Good! That’s the way I like it. I see it like this, I need you all. If Godzilla squishes a town but no one sees it, it doesn’t much matter. Besides, I do like to snack.

Piers Morgan: Ahem…

Godzilla: Ha! I love making you squirm, Piers.

Piers Morgan: Back to technology for a minute if we can?

Godzilla: Sure. (
Roars a little)

Piers Morgan: Don’t you think that if you adopted technology for your own purposes you might be regarded as a leader of men instead of a creature to be feared? Do you want to prevent mankind from being all it can be?

Godzilla: So I should help people with technology? Maybe then they could progress faster… Possibly even leading to my replacement? Or destruction?! Did you see
Super-Mechagodzilla? That thing tried to kill me. No way am I going to help to destroy myself!

Piers Morgan: Have you ever considered that with, or without you, technology will continue to change the world, and if you don’t work with it, technology will indeed hasten your final departure?


Piers Morgan: Easy big fella…

Godzilla: Well, if it is true that I can’t get rid of technology, then it will just have to wait until I am retired. Until then, I reserve the right to point out its ultimate weakness by stomping on it!

Piers Morgan: So all technology is bad?

Godzilla: Yes!

Piers Morgan: What about
your friend Jet Jaguar? Isn’t he a robot? Robots are technological things.

Godzilla: After he gained self-awareness and realized how awesome I am… Well, look, now you are hitting below the belt and starting to upset me!

Piers Morgan: (Loud crash in the background) What was that?

Godzilla: Opps. (looks over shoulder)What kind of a car do you drive?

Piers Morgan: It is a light blue Prius.

Godzilla: I think I may have just crushed it.

Piers Morgan: Ah, man! I can’t believe it. Why would you do that?

Godzilla: It was an accident! You were irritating me and when I become annoyed my tail twitches. Relax, I am sure you have insurance, and this would be covered under act of God….zilla!

Piers Morgan: Very funny.

Godzilla: Like I said, it was an accident. I like Prius’ because they use less gas which decreases the demand for oil. Some of my best friends were dinosaurs and I really resent the fact that people are burning them up as fast as they can. Barbzilla…oh yeah. She was nice!

Piers Morgan: I think science has shown that
oil doesn’t come from dinosaurs.

Godzilla: What? Don’t you start telling me any crazy mess, my pinkie toe is bigger than you and I have been laying waste to entire cities since long before you were a gleem in your Daddy's eye, so I know what’s what!

Piers Morgan: I apologize. I lost my head. You just crushed my car and I really, just simply forgot my manners and who I was speaking to…

Godzilla: That’s better.

Piers Morgan: Look, I just want to make things better between us humans and you; to reach out, and agree on some small point about technology so that we can always be on the same side. You have protected us in the past against enemies like
King Ghidorah who after destroying an ancient civilization on Venus came to Earth to do the same. Is it possible for us to learn to work together on all things?

Godzilla: I am the most important thing on this planet and that is what I care most about. I don’t like change and I am not playing second fiddle to anyone else, or any gadget. PERIOD! Read My Lips-
Roars! You “people” made me like this with your technology. You gave me powers and then shot at me when I was minding my own business just trying them out. That kind of set my attitude for life right there!

Piers Morgan: So, if I am hearing you correctly; you don’t care about the advancement of humankind, you don’t want to work with anyone else, you don’t like “gadgets” as you call them, and you don’t want to learn anything new. You just want to keep doing what you have always done until you retire.

Godzilla: And I didn’t think you were paying attention!

Piers Morgan: Well, that about does it for this interview.

Godzilla: Not yet.

Piers Morgan: What do you mean?

Roars (sprays studio with Atomic Breath)

Monday, April 11, 2011

NFL Lockout Continues…

The first big NFL event of the year approaches and I have packed up all my NFL related wear into storage boxes. Shirts, coats, ties, underwear, hats, running pants, and even shorts are packed up because I refuse to support a sport that doesn’t care about me, the lower middle class fan that spends more money than he should. I have supported the NFL up until now but the NFL is not returning my love. I have been left in the land of “Uncertain Sports Future.” If there is still a lockout, why would I want to watch the draft? And If I did, would I watch the official NFL version or would I watch the web based player’s version?

I have imagined what it would be like for football players to enter the real world workforce. I think it might look a little like this…

Until the NFL is whole again, I will not support the players or the owners.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

No Football League (NFL)

I am very disappointed over the recent developments in the NFL vs Players labor issue that is happening right now. I don’t understand the owners point of view, I mean, without the players what do they own? Logos?

What used to be football games may suddenly break down to a couple of owners talking about how tough their logo is compared to the other team’s logo like a couple of eight year olds.

Zygi Wilf- “A Viking would crush a Cardinal! We have swords and shields and those cool helmets with horns.”

Bill Bidwill- “Whatever! A Cardinal will fly away! We are too fast, A Viking is slow and lumbering with all that equipment. He will tire out and then take a nap. A Cardinal will attack when the Viking sleeps dropping a poison poop in his snoring hole!”

Zygi Wilf- “You are stupid! There is no such thing as poison poop…”

Bill Bidwill- “Is too! Ever hear of the Bird Flu? Or what about Salmonella? You’re stupid.”

The owner of my team, Daniel Snyder, has done nothing but make loads of money and questionable team decisions since purchasing the Washington Redskins. He has that luxury. For example, he can fabricate seats out of nothing and sell them at Fed Ex Field. Never mind that anyone sitting there could never actually see the game. I know because I sat in one of those seats this past year. I have never been so close to the game but had no idea what was going on. I couldn’t see the field or the even tiny little TV that was mounted above me. It was the worst football experience I have ever had, and that is saying a lot because I have been to many devastating Redskins losses.

View from the $120 seat I had on Oct. 17, 2010.

Perhaps in his free time, now that the players have filed suit against the NFL, Mr. Snyder will take a few minutes to evaluate the field view from the obstructed zone. I am sure. Right after he allows more people to draw horns on his head (original article here).

While many of the players make more money than I will ever see in my lifetime, I do feel for them because the impact of the game on individuals leaves many lingering physical problems that persist long after their playing days are finished. Full medical care doesn’t sound unreasonable for the people who actually play the games.

One thing that was not mentioned in any negotiations, that I am aware of, is the need for player chaperones and common sense seminars. Players attacking female fans, or behaving in an unsafe and reckless manner, cannot be tolerated by society. Oh wait, I forgot. They are rich, young and in top physical condition… They can do whatever they want, even changing their name to non-existent Spanish numbers and then back again. I guess “ochenta y cinco” would not be outrageous enough.

There are many other issues that are floating around between these two sides, but guess what? I really don’t care. As the consumer, my only interest is in the games. If there is no football this year, I will be upset, but I’ll find something else to do with my time. After all, football is entertainment. There will be something to fill the entertainment void in my life.

Macramé sounds interesting. Maybe I could make some of that. It is a macaroni type dish with cheese, isn’t it? My wife has said I need to learn to cook more than toast.

I have also thought about creating my own turtle fighting league. I don’t think there are any laws against turtle fighting. I will call it Turtle Battle Saturdays, or Sundays. TBS for short. Two Turtles enter, one turtle leaves.

In any case, I will be in full boycott mode of all things NFL related until further notice. I won’t watch anything about the NFL, read anything about the NFL, I won't wear any of the clothing that I have that promotes the NFL (that is saying alot because most of the shirts I wear fit into this category) and I will definately not buy anything NFL related. I know this has the NFL shaking, but what if we all just said no? No to the whole mess. No to the owners who are so greedy they ignore the players that make the NFL. No to the players who embarrass us with their spoiled and immature behavior. No to $8 draft beers and $27 t-shirts with my team’s logo on it. If it is me by myself no one will care, but if all fans said no, it might be something special.

Of course the difficulty in my stance is how do I explain it to my children? This morning after my 7 year old son picked out a football tie for me to wear, I had to tell him that I wouldn’t wear the tie because I was protesting the NFL strike. He was not happy; a tie that looks like a football is cool. Luckily, he was ok with the Star Wars Phantom Menace tie with young Luke Skywalker on it.

Boycotts, stirkes, lawsuits; Sam doesn’t care about any of that. Maybe I shouldn’t either.