Tie a Day, Number 98

Tuesday's tie was a fun tie. Fine Italian silk in a black and silver zig zag pattern. Up close, this tie is an attention getter because it has an optical illusion quality to it.

Thick and soft, this tie was begging me to wear black. It was a call I answered with pleasure. Wearing all black from head to toe made me feel like a ninja. My tie was the distraction that allowed me cut to the heart of problems and acrobatically eliminate the enemy. The enemy was, of course, ignorance which I dispatched with my imaginary katana.

This is the point in a conversation when my children will say, "Dad! Stop, you are not a ninja," and then roll their eyes. They are still young and don't realize that I have saved all my best material for their first dates.

Anyway, why can't I be a ninja in my own dreams?

Tie a Day 9/21/09

Today's tie is like something a Ninja might wear if he was trying to blend in with everyone else in a crowded office building while stalking his target. Urban, blue collar camouflage. It is not ugly, but not good looking. It is simply a tie.

Don't get me wrong, it is not that I don't like this tie, I do. We all need things that go with other stuff that we don't have to think about in a Garanimal kind of way. It makes Monday mornings much easier.

This is the 7th tie of the year.

Sam's Graduation

Sam is my youngest child. He is 5 years old. Yesterday he was in a Pre-Kindergarten Graduation ceremony. I have to admit that I was feeling a bit misty on the way over to his daycare. Next year he will be in Kindergarten and somehow I just can't get used to the idea that things change, and my baby is growing up.

The weather was not helping. It was raining and sunny, and it just made everything seem a little bizarre.

The rain let up and I had to make a left turn. Over my shoulder I caught a glimpse of a rainbow, so I pulled my beat up truck over to the side of the road and took the picture above. It reminded me that there is good in everything, even when times are confusing.

I continued on my way and once again fell into the familiar pattern of hurrying up to wait, and became caught up in all that was going on around me. You never know when you will be surprised by the unexpected. I thought I had reached my surprise limit for the day.

Then the ceremony began. Each child took turns and stood up in front of our little group and told what he or she would like to be when they grow up. Here is what Sam said...

And a priceless memory was made... He is going to be just like his father- a dreamer. I am so proud!

Ninja-Like Reflexes

It is important for me to say that I am against anyone throwing anything at the President. Now that I have said that, I think the video that came out today of the shoe throwing Iraqi is incredible, and in some ways very funny, for a few reasons.

1.) President Bush is standing maybe 20 feet away from the attacker in this video, in a completely relaxed stance, just doing his normal Head of State thing, when this guy whips off his shoe and chucks it at about 90 miles and hour. The aim was precisely for the center of Bush's face yet he slipped it easily. Awesome! Did he have special ninja training to prepare for the job?

2.) Then the second shoe comes and it is within 5 inches of the first throw! Wow! It is really hard to throw a shoe accurately, and within 3 seconds, the second shoe was heading to the same spot! I have been throwing shoes around the house all day, and I can tell you for a fact that is hard to do. Did this guy take lessons? How do you get that good at throwing shoes? It must take a lot of practice time. I mean, seriously, you would have to wear the same shoes all the time to be that consistently good. A different shoe would require a different grip, and it would have different aerodynamic properties. There are just a large number of factors that come together to make me believe the attacker was at least the best shoe thrower on his block.

The speed that he got both of his shoes off and threw them, incredible! He was like Clint Eastwood. He fired both rounds before anyone in the room except Bush could move.

3.) Was the Secret Service on a smoke break? In the movies these guys react like lightning to any threat, and then shot and kill people. How did they miss this? Maybe this was only a minor attack and the President, by rule, must take this one on his own or something- hence the previously mentioned Ninja training. After a couple of guys did jump on the shoe thrower, you see a secret service man comes over to Bush and he waves him off like, "I got this one. My momma throws a shoe harder than that." The secret service guy was a little late after all.

Maybe there is some sort of threat protocol; for bombs- we cover the president with our bodies, for guns- the guy closest to the president covers him with his body everybody else shoots the guy with the gun, for knives- we get in the way of the attacker and shoot him till he stops moving, for a shoe attack we ???? Maybe no one has ever thought that a shoe could be hurled with such ferocity and accuracy. The split second it took to process what was happening, then running through the protocols and finding nothing, left them paralyzed. I am pretty sure there are some secret agents getting grilled over this attack. And maybe that is a good thing. I do not want anyone to hurt my President.

4.) Bush slipped the first shoe with ease but the second one was partially deflected by Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki while Bush was attempting to block the shoe as well. The total effect was that the shoe was harmlessly pushed out of the way. But if you look closely, it seems like Bush was trying to catch the shoe! How awesome would that have been if Bush caught the shoe and, still using his Ninja skills, immediately returned fire with the assailant’s weapon nailing him right between the eyes! I tell you right now it would have been the all time greatest YouTube video ever. I would pay money to own that!

5.) Every culture is entitled to have their own serious insults, and I am not making fun of that guy who threw the shoe or his culture, but does the insult count as much if you don't hit the target?

6.) I realize that this incident makes many people upset. Some people are upset with Bush. Some people are upset with the attacker. I am proud of Bush standing up and facing high velocity loafers at 20 feet. If he had been hit I would be angry at the attacker, angry at the Secret Service for failing to protect our leader, and angry at all of the movies that falsely depict the protection skills of the Secret Service. Instead, in my eyes, Bush saved the day.