Tie a Day- It's a Wrap!

On September 16, 2009, I decided that I would wear a different tie every day of school for the entire school year.

I know, 116 ties does not sound like a lot of ties when the school year consists of 182 days, but here is how it breaks down; Every Friday is jeans day. There are roughly 36 Fridays in the school year, so that leaves 146 days. I missed maybe 10 days this school year between personal sick days, family sick days, and professional leave days, so that knocks down the number to 136. One day a month we have an optional jeans day that you can participate in if you donate $2 to the Relay for Life team we have at school. There are 10 months in the school year, so the number now drops to 126 possible tie days. For the last 10 days that I did not wear a tie that I could have, I have to say that maybe I didn’t because it was a half day of school (3 days), I had a ton of cleanup work to do and didn’t want a tie to get in the way (4 days), or I just got plain ornery and decided I was not wearing a tie just because I didn’t want to that day (3 Days). This is how I justified wearing only 116 ties in 182 days of school.

I created a video so show most of the ties that I wore. I left out some ties because you may notice from the first tie post that I decided to record the ties after the school year had begun. I tried to catch up quickly and take pictures of the ties I had already worn, but of course I took the pictures of the first ties differently from all the rest, and it created problems for me when I decided to make the video below.

If you are interested, here is how I made the video; I used Paint Shop pro to cut out all of the extra stuff in each picture and just leave the tie. Then I converted the file to a transparent png file. I had my oldest son, Calvin, take a picture of me wearing a shirt all buttoned up without a tie. Next, I opened up PowerPoint 2007 and clicked on create a photo album. By selecting all of the plain tie pictures I inserted them all into PowerPoint at once. Then I went into the slideshow and inserted the picture of my buttoned up shirt as the background on all slides. I had to make minor adjustments to align the ties on each slide onto the shirt correctly. I have a Camtasia add on in my PowerPoint, so I recorded the slideshow playing. I saved the file as an AVI and then opened it in Movie Maker and added a Soundzabound’s file as background music. It sounds like a lot of jumping around from program to program, but it was a rather fast and smooth process.

Highlights of the year in ties
I invented the words- tie-cation and tieja vu , or at least I believe I invented them.

I created a new World Record- Most Neckties Worn By A Computer Resource Specialist, sort of a bogus record because of the limitations of the record I created.

Lowlight of the year in ties
I still have 30 or so ties still waiting for their chance to be worn.

Bad Elf

My idea of the perfect elf is something similar to the character played by Will Ferrell in the movie, Elf. A good elf should be full of the Christmas spirit, oozes love and kindness, and wraps the perfect present. I try to be full of the Christmas spirit and ooze love and kindness, but I fail miserably in one important category- present wrapping.

I try to be a good wrapper, I really do. I attempt to carefully estimate the exact amount of wrapping paper needed. I fold the paper with nice little creases; try to make triangles that fold in on themselves to cover the ends, and use just the minimum of tape, but the presents I wrap are easy to spot under the tree. It is like my presents have been dragged behind Santa's sled over all the neighbors’ roofs.

When I wrap presents, the Lorax cries. I often find myself using twice the amount of paper that is needed for some gifts. The ends of the gifts have so much paper bunched up that I feel compelled to get my staple gun and tack down the corners. The seams are angled oddly on the sides, and sometimes on the front of my gifts. On the presents that I don't use too much paper, I don't use nearly enough paper. It is not unusual for my presents to have holes on the sides and on the back of the gifts that must be patched with scraps. The end result is like some sort of patch work wrapping experiment that requires four times the normal amount of tape. The frightening Frankenstein present.

There is no perfectly wrapped gift from me. There are always highly noticeable issues that stand out like neck bolts. It is like I am missing the present wrapping gene.

Last night the marathon of gift wrapping began, but Amy was not feeling well. Hanging out with the kids over the last two days without me left her worn-out, and fighting a bad cold. She totally has my sympathy, but with three kids and two days before the major unwrapping event, the job had to be done.

So, I volunteered to wrap presents and told her to just label the presents as I finish. I had completely forgotten that I cannot do this task without looking like a spaz. How that had escaped me I really don't know because as soon as the present and the wrapping tools are within arm’s length, it all comes rushing back to me.

Amy was watching me align presents and create my Christmas origami mysteries, but I refused to meet her eye. I knew she was ready to burst out laughing and I just couldn't be distracted from the task at hand. There was no time to be mocked.

But there was plenty of time to curse and mutter under my breath about the ridiculous shape of toy packaging- large rectangular cuboids- Stupid!

Tape is another problem for me- sometimes it is too sticky, other times it is not sticky enough, and just when you are on a large, challenging wrapping job and you only have one hand free to seal the deal, you run out. Even though I buy tape three packs at a time, I can never find the other two rolls. I have been known to resort to using duct tape in a pinch.

This year I bought a handy little paper cutter. You just run the tool down the length of the paper and it cuts the perfect straight line. Bull! This thing cannot cut a straight line, and after you have used it a few times, it no longer wants to cut paper at all. It wants to shred paper, making bunched up tears, and jagged ripples that make every cut an adventure.

I was trying to do my present wrapping on my bed. There really couldn't be a more difficult place to wrap things, it is too soft, with pillows and blankets and I always tear holes in the paper by accidently pushing the present through the paper on the reverse side and into the bed. The problem is that my little people are all jacked up on the idea of Christmas presents and the sound of wrapping paper is like the sound of bells to Pavlov's dogs. When you are an elf at my house, you must wrap under the most strict security measures possible- locked door, wait an hour after the kid's bedtime, and you must listen for the sounds of stirring gremlins. There is no wrapping at the dining room table…

For some problems in life there are no solutions, we just do the best we can. The wrapping problem continues, and Amy's cold is worse. I bought lots of extra tape, and few extra 1000 ft rolls of wrapping paper. Later today I will coffee up and do it all. I am a little over halfway through the gifts that I remember needing to wrap, but the job must be done – even if I am a bad elf!

In the spirit of the season, I would like to share this little song with you-



Happy Holidays!