My Inspiration

Inspiration can come in many different and surprising forms. My inspiration is 11 years old, about 4 feet 9 inches tall and weighs approximately 90 lbs.

My daughter Savannah is my inspiration. She inspires me because she believes something that few other people believe, but she ignores that and does the impossible anyway. She is following her dream and she is determined to see it through.

Last year she looked at me and said, “Dad, I want to be the first female quarterback in the NFL.”

As most parents do in times like that, I smiled and said something like, “That would be great. I bet you can do it.” I am ashamed to say I didn’t believe her. Children rarely understand how difficult their dreams are, but parents are supposed to support them in their quests and somehow still protect them from the harsh realities of the world.

Savannah is not the biggest, the strongest or the fastest child at her age, but she was born an athlete. I don’t know where that comes from in our family line, but I know where her love of football comes from. It has to be my fault.

Spending every Sunday during football season locked in front of the television had to have rubbed off on her. She wanted to throw the football in the front yard. So I taught her the Peyton Manning Method for Throwing a Football. She learned it so well that in 2^nd grade she broke her friend’s finger playing catch.

About a year later we found out that Flag Football was offered at the Field House near where we live. We signed her up and it wasn’t long before she was forced to be the quarterback. I say forced because she was the best option on the team, she could throw the ball accurately, she knew where everyone was supposed to be and she didn’t mind telling them where to go.

It is pretty much understood that football is for boys, but Savannah was fortunate to have the support of some girls who also wanted to play flag football. I will never forget last year when the flag football team they faced mocked the girls on Savannah’s team as the three young ladies walked out to the center of the field for the coin toss. The other team felt differently when they walked off the field with a loss.

I am not saying that she has always been a winner, because she hasn’t. She has had many games when she had to suffer tough losses and outright humiliation as opposing teams piled on points. Those defeats only made her more determined and probably a better player.

At the end of last year’s flag football season she declared that she wanted to play tackle football and she wanted to try out for her middle school team. Her mom and I said things of support, while we tried in vain to steer her towards some other sport that might change her mind, or better yet, prevent her from trying out because of overlapping schedules.

Savannah’s focus could not be broken.  I had promised her that I would take her to the Landstown Middle School Football tryouts, and so I did. I watched her take the field with at least 70 boys and begin doing group calisthenics and football drills. Knowing that the coach was only keeping 32 to 35 on the team, I sized each boy up. They were huge! I like to say that I am 5 foot 10 inches, and on a good day I might weigh 175 lbs in my underwear, and there were quite a few boys who were taller and heavier than me. But Savannah didn’t blink an eye.

The first day at practice I tried hard not to show it, but I cried. I am not afraid to admit that I have emotions, but I don’t always want other to see, so I hid behind my sunglasses. She gave it her all, and I was proud, but I was also torn by the prospect of her not being able to follow her dream. I was a wreck.

Day two at practice had the kids line up in a tackling drill, without pads. One kid had to run by another kid who was trying to tackle the first kid. Savannah faced the one of the biggest kids on the field, who promptly tackled her at the waist, picked her up and drilled her into the ground. It was a textbook tackle. I almost boo-hooed out loud as she bounced right back up and ran to the end of the line. Now I also had to add to my list of emotions the fear of her being hurt.

At the end of day three, cuts were to be announced in the form of a list of numbers that were assigned to kids on the first day of tryouts. If a kid’s number didn’t appear on the list, he did not make the team. I agonized over how she might take the news when her number wasn’t on the list. I thought about how I could turn the conversation to a positive and express how proud I was of her just for trying. I wouldn’t allow myself to think that she could make it, because I didn’t believe it could be possible.

The list was posted before practice was over, but I couldn’t look. It seemed wrong to take that away from her. If nothing else she earned the right to know before me. I watched her as she slowly walked up to the list, one of the very last to make it there. She looked briefly and dropped her head as she turned away. I walked over to her and began my consolation speech. She seemed ok, as she told me she didn’t see her number, but she added that one of the coaches had asked her to meet him over by the buses.

We milled about for a few minutes and talked about things. She had done her best and was at peace with herself. I was sure her coach would say something positive about her performance and encourage her to keep working at it and then end with the “maybe next year,” line.

The coach came over and as I said my fatherly lines about how she would work hard and we would see him tryouts next year, he looked at Savannah and said, “Did you look at the list?”

Savannah said, “Yeah…”

He said, “You better look again, you made the team. I thought that you might have missed it because your number was penciled in.”

Savannah and I exchanged unbelieving looks with our mouths hanging open, and I think I said thank you. The coach said, “She earned it,” and he even repeated it to make sure we both heard it. He walked us back over to the list and pointed out the number 7 written in pencil at the bottom of the page.

Lucky Number 7

I was overwhelmed by the enormity of what my little girl had done. The only thing I could compare it to was the movie Rudy. I jumped on Facebook when I got home and begged for someone to share their copy (thank you Aaron!). As a family we sat and watched this movie while I hoped that the significance of Savannah’s accomplishment sunk in not only for her, but for her brothers as well.

By the end of the first week I had stopped crying at practice. Well, for the most part.

In her first scrimmage I watched her get steamrolled while playing corner. The wide receiver put a vicious hit on her while blocking downfield for a running play. Savannah jumped up after the play and ran back to the defensive huddle.

During her first game I was sure she wouldn’t get any playing time. But as the score rolled up, I realized that she might see some action during junk time. And then she ran on the field!

She played tight end and blocked on one play, and the running back scored a touchdown! She ran off the field pumping her fist thrilled with her first taste of real football in pads.

From my limited knowledge of middle school football, I would have to say that the Lancers are a good football team. As I sat in the bleachers last night watching the game it seemed for a while that the score was a bit too close for Savannah to take the field. Then suddenly in the 4^th quarter the score was 42 to 6. I was thrilled when Savannah ran onto the field, but I was shocked to hear the Landstown Cheerleaders began to cheer, “Go Savannah! Go!” over and over. Soon the play was over, but a minute later she was back on for another play. Again the Cheerleaders shouted, “Go Savannah! Go!” and now the people in the stands joined in with them.

And I remembered Rudy.

Game Face

This is why Savannah inspires me. Despite all the odds, and all the people who scoffed that a girl was trying to play football, she has taken another step towards her dream and made believers out of others. Including me.

Tie a Day, Number 54

Sam rushed up the stairs this morning to make sure he got to help me pick out my tie. I was barely out of the shower and had to remind him that he already picked out today’s tie yesterday. He was thrilled that he was able to dress Dad for the second day in a row. I may have started a trend with him.

This is the Calvin tie. This tie has a repeated picture of my oldest son Calvin staggered across the front of it. He was two in this picture and I am pretty sure I received this as my back to school gift from Amy in 2000.

Today, Calvin is eleven and almost as big as me. Soon he will be bigger, and I will make him kneel when he talks to me. I am not sure how they figure these things out, but according to the Doctor, Calvin should be 6’ 3” someday. All that height skipping right over me in the family tree…

Amy laughs because she says I falsified a legal document just so I can claim my true height to be more than reality. It is not my fault that the DMV has a flawed licensing system. Here’s some news for you, I don’t weight 160 pounds either! Stick that in your document falsifier…

I can’t help but feel like I have cheated Savannah today. I talked about her brothers, but today is her birthday. My baby girl is eight. She may be too old to be called that by anyone, except me, because no matter what- she will always be my baby girl.

I can call her that because I got to deliver her. It was one of the most special times in my life. In the delivery room, the nurse practitioner asked me if I wanted to deliver her. Amy had an uncomplicated pregnancy, and since things were going smoothly, I was ready and jumped at the chance. And when Savannah was born, I was the first to hold her. I feel like I have had to let her go just a little every day since.

Happy Birthday Savannah.

Tie a Day, Number 16

Today's tie is one of my all time favorites! The tie has a repeating pattern of Calvin and Savannah sitting in a little car. Calvin was 4 years old at the time, and Savannah was only a year old (he is 11 now, and she is 7). Amy gave the tie to me in 2003, as a beginning of the school year present.

Needless to say, but I will do it anyway, I think this tie is beautiful. It has made me smile all day. People have stopped me to look at the tie and I am allowed to talk about my children. There isn't anything better than that.

I have two ties like this, the other tie has a younger Calvin that repeats all over the tie. But I don't have a tie with Sam on it. I think I might need to break down and buy one- I already know the picture I want to use. I can't have Sam feeling left out on the ties!

If every tie made me feel this good, I would wear ties every day of the week- including the weekends. And with nothing else on- even in the shower.

Savannah’s Big Question

Amy and I decided to take the kids to Mount Trashmore for the 4th of July fireworks display on Saturday night. It was a great day, clear and cool for early July. We arrived early and parked far away for a quick exit from the area once the show was over, a la Clark Griswold.


We climbed to the top of the hill and the kids chased a finger rocket back and forth.

We had noticed earlier that Bob McDonnell was talking to people around the park. We just kept on walking. While we sat watching the kids play, Amy and I noticed that the “McDonnell Group” was moving around. We jokingly told Savannah that she needed to go ask Bob McDonnell how he was going to get teachers pay raises so we could go to Disney World again.

We snickered and remarked to each other how very humorous we are, but Bob and his entourage continued to move, and they headed in our direction. Before we knew it, he was right in front of us. I whipped out my cell phone and quickly captured the following video.



Surprisingly, Savannah did not freeze and forget her question. In case you missed what she said, it was, “How are you going to get teachers a raise?”

He had a good prepared answer for her, but what I thought was great is that he got down on one knee to speak to her. He made eye contact with her, not the adults, and tried to respectfully talk to her. I am sure that much of what he said went right over her head, but most adult questions have adult answers. In any case, it is rare to see adults act that way around children, usually they are polite but dismissive.

I understand that he is a politician and that his behavior was not completely exceptional in the way he spoke to Savannah, but as her father, I was impressed.

It was a great day at the park that ended with some fantastic fireworks. And now, thanks to Bob McDonnell, we have a nice family story to tell and retell for years.

The New Star Trek Movie

I was terribly surpised on Friday to be offered two tickets to see the new Star Trek movie. I had been off the grid for a couple of days trying to complete some work and had missed many Twitter posts. Amazingly, no one else snapped them up! I had to change plans, and beg cooperation from my wife to make it happen.

I have to give a serious Woot! shout out to @SteveBFW who gave me the tickets to the Virginia Beach Premeire. And I also have to thank @LAlconcel for putting in a good word for me when I was temporarily out of contact. I love my Twitter peeps!

Yesterday morning at 10:30am I found myself at early screening of a Star trek movie with my daughter Savannah. She was excited to spend a little time with Dad, probably because she knows she gets whatever she wants when we are together. Funny, she didn't want much before the movie. I gave her a twenty to go to the candy counter and she only came back with bottled water and Twizzlers.

I was so geeked out to be at this sneak peak, I nearly emitted a constant squeal from the time I jumped in line. I am surprised that I didn't embarass Savannah in public by trying out my Klingon language skills, or my Captain Kirk persona.

I have stayed away from all of the spoiler sites and waited with much excitement to see this movie, and there I was seeing it before anyone else in the city. Wow!

They gave out stickers and posters as we entered the theater. Savannah and I rushed to the lower level of the theater and grabbed the center seats in the top row- which are the best seats ever!

Savannah and I at the Movie. Notice my shirt?

During the movie there was a Paramount guy wandering around making sure no one was taking pictures or movies of the showing. Security was tight. I have never been to a movie like that.

CW27, a local TV station, was sponsoring the event and took a picture of Savanah and I. I had to sign a waver, and they said that they were going to post our picture on their website on Monday. I will add a link when I find the slide show...
Update! 5/4/09 Here is the Link- Savannah and I are on the CW 27!

Movie Review
While I refuse to ruin a good movie by telling the story, I do think I need to say something about it. The movie was AWESOME! It is by far, the Best Star trek Movie yet!

I have grown up on Star Trek, and some people might say that this fact makes me an impartial judge of the movie, but I would have to disagree. Good is easy to pick out and so is bad, but my love for the Star Trek is like my love for my dog. She can make a mistake and I will still love her, but I don't have to like her poop.

In my opinion The Wrath of Kahn used to be the best Star Trek movie because it was true to the original series. It had action and passion and was just plain fun.

Generations was was a close second because it tied the past from The Orignial Series (TOS) to The Next Generation (which I also loved). I also thought it was the best story of all the movies.

The worst movie was the first one, Star Trek: The Motion Picture. It was stuffy and difficult to sit through. I must say that I have seen it many times since that day in December of 1979, because there is still much to love about the movie. The bald navigator Ilia is mesmerizing.

There were some other Star Trek that were also pretty bad, but luckily the new Star Trek movie is not one of them. There is lots of action and excitement that will thrill people who aren't into Strek Trek. From the first minutes of the movie to to the last few minutes I was glued to my seat.

The special effects were out of control good. Explosions and space scenes were perfect. The special effects did not take the viewer away from the story, which was very important to me. Otherwise, it would have been a very painful time in the seat for me, because the story makes the movie.

The best part was the storyline. It stayed true to the characters from TOS, but added a surpising twist. This is the beginning of more fun things to come from the Star Trek franchise. If you have never liked Star Trek, now is the time to give it a chance.

At one point in the movie Savannah turns to me and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." Normally I would never send her out by herself, but she is seven and growing more indepenant every day, and I couldn't go into the bathroom with her anyway, so I asked her, "Do you know where the bathroom is? Do you need me to come with you?"

I felt terribly guilty because I didn't want to leave, and the burden of parenthood told me I should have gone with her, but she was ready and was back in only a min or two. Does that make me a bad parent, a Trekkie, or both?

As Savannah and I were walking out of the theater we were asked to give a quick review. I said,"10 out of 10 stars. The best Star Trek Movie yet." Having had a whole almost a whole day to think about it, I still think that is accurate.

I want more! I never go to the movies anymore, but have already told the kids I would take them all to see Star trek when it opens later this week for the world to see.

I have already ordered my Cheezit Star trek shirt and have plans to order them for the whole family, I just need a few more boxes! While I wait patiently for my new shirt, I will probably Trek Myself a few more times...

Letting Go

Parenting is a verb, like running. You often find yourself doing it without even thinking. This thing must done, and then this other thing, and you end up getting so caught up in all of the things that you must do that suddenly you find yourself faced with a milestone that you hadn’t really thought about.

I was overwhelmed this morning when I suddenly realized that this was the 1st day of school for my little First Grade baby girl. She seems so grown up. When did that happen? More importantly, how was it able to slip by me?

When I know important things are coming, I try to brace myself and picture how wonderful everything will be. I say things to myself like, "It is the natural way of things." But for every beginning, there must be an ending. I just can not break the feeling of loss and mourning as what was, slips away.

Last year was big, but this year is the beginning of the numbered grades. Savannah has been looking forward to this day since last year when she could not understand how far away 5 months was, and insisted that tomorrow she would be in First Grade.

Tomorrow came today.

She had to wear her new “Cute is My Middle Name,” t-shirt today. Her Disney World autograph book was packed away with her “First Visit” Disney World button in her Mickey Mouse back pack, so she could share with her friends all of the fun things she did this summer.

Amy and I took Savannah to her before and after school day care, and I watched her go to the coat rack and hang up her backpack. I wanted to scoop her up and run away. Instead I picked her up and squeezed her so tight she let out a little squeal. I whispered in her ear about how proud I was of her. I told her she was going to have a great day and that I wanted to hear about everything that she did. I thought my heart would break when I put her down.

And then I walked away.

When a Four Year Old Decorates...

Before you have children you often picture what a wonderful thing it will be to have them. The children will be perfect and somehow you never imagine any of the work involved. No parent-to-be ever thinks that they will be changing diapers 8 times a day on a light day. Oh yes, I changed diapers- lots of them.

Things have changed since the diaper days. There is still much that must be done to keep up around the house, and now the kids can even help. While it is really nice to get the little people involved, sometimes it is best to get them out of the way for a few minutes of peace and quiet while the dishes get finished.

A few weeks ago we had one of those peaceful cleaning moments at the house. The kids, all three of them, were sent into the front yard to entertain themselves. I am not a big fan of dishes, but it can often be much quicker and easier if the kids are outside. Then I don't need to turn around every five seconds and answer a hypothetical question about burping cows solving all our energy needs, or settle a dispute that can easily erupt into name calling and foot stomping.

After a few minutes of blissful scrubbing and stacking dishes into the dishwasher, Savannah, my middle child and informer of all wrongdoings by her brothers, sticks her head in the front door and says, "Sammy is picking up a dead frog."

Of course, my answer as a superior parent was, "Tell him to stop it." That seemed to satisfy her, and she left. I was happy it wasn't anything serious and I didn't have to stop what I was doing.

Peace settled back in for a total of 2 and a half minutes before Savannah shouted through the open door, "Dad, Sammy won't put the dead frog down."

The entire time I am debating with myself, "Is this something I need to worry about?" As long as he is not eating the frog, I think I am ok. I say very forcefully to Savannah, "Tell him that I said he needs to put down the dead frog- right this minute." I am thinking that the authoritative command of my voice will transfer to my daughter and she can pull off giving these instructions to her 4 year old brother so I don't need to go out and deal with the dead frog issue.

Now I move on to some other constructive activity, like clearing the counter top or something equally exciting. Dealing with frog boy is looking like more fun, but I know that I am due an update on the Kermit situation anytime, and the whole production is beginning to amuse me. I am trying to think of witty comebacks to whatever the next exchange will be, but you can not be prepared for everything.

Savannah comes back in and before she can say anything I ask her, "Did Sammy put the frog down?"

"Yes, but he put it in a tree." she says. I have no idea what that means, and now I am annoyed because I didn't think of anything good to say in return to that statement.

I said, "What? Alright, well he is not carrying it anymore. Tell your brothers they have 5 more minutes out front then it will be time to come in." I hate it when I take the time to think up good one-liners that I can't even use. I thought for sure I would get a couple of more times to say something creative during the croaked frog exchange.

And then I forgot all about the frog. The next morning I came out of the house, locked the front door, and came down the front steps. I look up and there is the frog. Flat as a pancake, and sitting on this miniature little evergreen tree that we have in our front yard like a warped Christmas tree ornament at Ozzy Osbourne's house. I had to laugh. It was gross, but very funny.

A new plan materialized, I needed to see how long it would take my wife, Amy, to notice, and I needed to take a picture as soon as I got home. Amy said nothing about the frog on the way to work or after we got home. I was able to get a couple of photos of the frog and then I waited.

Boy was I mad when she asked me, "Did you see the frog?" Now I am starting to get upset. Can't I have any fun at all with the dead frog? Amy is not upset, maybe a little grossed out, but mostly just amused. Maybe I can get my Mother-In- Law to come over and look at it. I refuse to take the frog off the tree and Amy doesn't care. So the frog stays up.

A week goes by with the frog in the tree. I have just come to accept the frog as if it is a part of the yard and don't even think about him anymore. Then one day, the neighborhood walking group comes looking for Amy. A couple of the Moms get together and walk their dogs around the block. Amy had called them on her cell phone from the minivan and they showed up at the house early to meet her.

We make the obligatory small talk while we wait for Amy, and I am just thankful that I put shorts on and was not running around the house in my boxers when they showed up. Nina, one of the neighborhood moms, says, "Nice frog!" Total gross-out by both of the Moms! Payoff. Finally, flat frog earned his rent. I got a couple of, "Ewwws" and a, "Nasty!" Plus, I was able to tell the Sammy story. I was finally happy.

But it goes without saying that every good thing must come to an end. Flat Kermit was no different. We had some good windy storms roll through town and Kermie went with them. It will all be ok, Sammy will be happy to decorate something else with the next flat frog he finds. I just hope he keeps it outside.

Flat Kermit, as Sammy intended for him to be seen.