Tie a Day (Year 2), Number 130

On Wednesday September 29th, I wore this paisley tie. Surprisingly, it actually matched my shirt for the day. But no one cared, not even me. Tie number 130 was unexceptional, much like the wearer of the tie. Which reminds me…

Last week I received a call from the Red Cross. I was very excited because the last time I donated blood I was entered into a drawing for a pair of Redskins tickets. I should have known better. That was not why they called.

I was disappointed, but Joel was a nice guy, so I talked to him. Someone must have told Joel, or the Red Cross, about my personal weakness. It is my need to be the best at something in this world.

My perfectly mediocre existence has taught me that there is always someone better, stronger, faster, smarter than me, and most of the time that person is in the room. I think all people want to stand out because of something, and I am no different. I am sure that no awards are given for being the most awesomely average person in the world. If so, that would certainly be my award.

I am not interested in competing to prove anything to anyone, but when Joel said, “When we looked at your blood we saw that you have an outstanding Platelet count and you would be perfect as a donor for the sick children at the Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters.” I heard outstanding, perfect, and sick children.

How do you turn down sick children? I am outstanding? I am perfect for something? Yes, it takes that little to bend me to your will.

For days I was walking around thinking about my awesome blood. A needle in my arm, not a big deal, I have the good stuff that the world needs! Children who have lost the ability to have blood that clots? I can fix this…

I entertained myself by thinking that my blood would be special enough to start fights at an imaginary Vampire club like some newly discovered whisky lost a hundred years ago in the Antarctic. Yes, it went to my head.

When I walked into the blood donation center at 9 am on Sunday morning, there was Joel. He seemed so excited to see me. I felt like a celebrity. He quickly pulled out a bag full of swag; a reusable water jug, 2 oven mitts, a bag to carry stuff with shoulder straps and a baseball cap. Yes, the guy with the good stuff just showed up. My fans were making sure I was happy.

Shortly afterward I was led to a room with a bunch of people donating blood! Did they lie to me? Was my blood not special? I looked around and decided my blood must be better than this guy because he was older than me. And that lady there, she couldn’t have better blood than me, could she? But as I scanned the room I saw that no one else had a goody bag. I knew then that I had the best blood in the room. Maybe even the world! Two oven mitts- none of them had even one mitt.

My platelets are like a miniature wall building army that plugs all holes in their way. Like an elite Seabee unit. I do have special blood. And don’t even get me started about how exceptional my blood pressure is…

Tie a Day (Year 2), Number 129

I decided to go bold with the tie I wore on Tuesday, September 28th. I was inspired by my trip to the outlet mall in Williamsburg the weekend before. The styles I saw placed together in the men's clothing stores made me think of an angry Garanimal cage match.

I saw vertical stripes shirts matched with diamond designed ties. I saw diagonal patterned ties with stripes and even box patterned shirts. To me, they were a little much, but I have a tie mission to fulfill. So I threw caution to the wind and embraced this shirt and tie in a men’s fashion throw down.

The polling at school that day left me with mixed results. My wife was on the hater side, while I did find a surprising number of supporters. I am not normally comfortable having what I wear scrutinized, but it was a fun day. Not that there will ever be a repeat performance…

Tie a Day (Year 2), Number 125

The tie I wore on Tuesday, September 21^st, was one of my all time favorite ties. This was the best tie picture that my new Droid X has taken of my ties. I think Calvin kept a steady hand on this one.

Purple is one of my favorite colors, and I love paisley so it is easy to see why this tie ranks high on my “Like” scale. Matched with the purple dress shirt and this was a very good tie day for me.

Tie a Day (Year 2), Number 124

Continuing the blurry trend from the week before, the tie I wore on Monday, September 20^th was pretty nice, but you will have to take my word for it.

The light blue pastel background is not my favorite but it is offset by the tiny purple paisley designs that alternate across the face of the tie. I like the tie but it always makes me think of spring and specifically, Easter. So it felt a little out of place for me.

This past weekend I went to the outlet mall in Williamsburg. I stopped in a few men’s clothing stores and found myself judging the tie and shirt combinations that they used for the displays. Many of the sets that were used were not to my taste but I could see how they matched. This kind of bothered me.

I think I have become too conservative and set in my ways. I need to make a bold statement with tomorrow’s outfit. Maybe it is time to bring out the forgotten Christmas tie…

Tie a Day (Year 2), Number 123

A solid week behind tie postings… Still trying to catch up!

The tie I wore on September 16^th was a Countess Mara tie that had some interesting diagonal designs on it. Black, maroon, and blue with paisley on it. You know it was a winner with me!

You will notice that the picture is a bit blurry. I have been experimenting with my new Droid X and have still not figured out how I will be using it from day to day. Taking snapshots is great but I think my son’s hand wiggles a bit and it is not always easy to see how blurry the image is until you zoom in. I obviously did not check this picture out before I rushed out the door for work.

Tie a Day (Year 2), Number 119

Looking at this swirling mess, I think I was way off on Thursday. The red tie with large paisley designs together with the vertical stripes of the shirt did not work at all.

I had hoped that the combination would make a positive statement. Instead, what it said was, “I can’t dress myself.”

Thursday was NFL kickoff day. So I was distracted as I put together my outfit for the day. Pigskin spheroids bounced through my head all morning long. It was the beginning of the professional football season, and the beginning of the fantasy football season. This is the one day that makes fall worth living!

I know many people don’t understand fantasy football, but if you like football, you would love fantasy football. I have my favorite team, but participating in fantasy football has allowed me to appreciate players across the league, not revile them just because they wear a different jersey (unless they are Cowboys or Eagles- I won’t draft players from those teams). Twenty years ago, I used to watch maybe 2 NFL games a week, now I watch as many as I can. This is not work for me, this is fun…

Just like most everything else, you don’t know what you are missing until you try it. Peer pressure is a great recruiting tool that I have used in the past to convince friends to play. Now they are fantasy monsters…

My only player that I had playing on Thursday night, Visanthe Shiancoe, the starting tight end for the Vikings, scored 13 points for me. The most points scored by any player that night on either team. This initial surge allowed me feel secure in a win for week 1 by the “Dogmanfunk All-Stars” by 7pm Sunday night.

Yes, I love football. Too bad it distracts me from dressing myself.

Tie a Day (Year 2), Number 117

I decided to continue the Tie a Day blog this year because I still have some ties left unworn. Since I tend to anthropomorphize random inanimate objects, I became worried that last year’s tie left-overs might get their little tie feelings hurt. I can’t have angry ties on my conscience!

Today is the first day of school for the 2010- 2011 school year. I feel overwhelmed. Needless to say I did not think too hard about my tie choice. They were so many things running through my head this morning that it is surprising that I was able to match the colors in the tie with the shirt and pants I selected.

Today’s tie is a repeating blue paisley design on a textured maroon background. The texture is a repeating snowflake like design. Brought back from the late 80’s, this hand sewn Italian silk masterpiece was manufactured by Britches of Georgetowne. This resurrected tie complemented my attire and started the year off in a conservative, and nicely retro way.

This summer I took a technology break. I was certain that I would be overwhelmed as this school year began, so I gave myself a technology vacation. In many ways it was harder than I thought it would be because I love gadgets and how they work. Instead, I tried to focus on my family. I just hope I didn’t annoy them too much (My family not the gadgets. I am sure the gadgets didn't miss me at all.).

The technology vacation is officially over today as I attempt to normalize myself (if this is possible) and dive in head first into the instructional technology deep end. In anticipation of this day, I purchased a Droid X to replace my existing cell phone- a Blackberry Storm. The box should arrive any day now, and as I wait, I am spending my time envisioning how perfect my world will be once this magical piece of technology is in my hands. What joy it will fill me with as I connect to the world while on the go!

Of course, fantasy is always far better than reality. Should I spend my time telling myself how terrible my new phone would be? No, that is wrong. Then I would be killing hope. Instead, I will spend my remaining hours before the X arrives with visions of the perfect technology nirvana that this one item will bring to me.

I wonder if there is a “complete bliss” ap? I bet there is…

The Final Tie, Number 116

Large blue and pink paisley designs, I finished up the year wearing a good tie. I love paisley and blue is one of my color mainstays. The only thing that’s bad about ties that I like is that they are worn out much more quickly. This tie has had the tie loop that holds the back half of the tie down, ripped so that it just dangles.

I am kind of sad that the Tie a Day project is over. While there was always work involved in the process for me, it was something to look forward to each day. Many days went by that I didn’t wear a tie, but I wore one everyday that I needed to and some when I didn’t.

Tomorrow I will post my ties video that will show almost all the ties I wore for the past school year.

Tie a Day, Number 110

I have decided to wear ties when they; 1) go with the clothes I want to wear, and 2) whichever tie matches first. Regardless of how ugly the tie is, I pick one tie that matches and move on. It is important to me that I give them all an equal opportunity to be worn and shared with the world.

I imagine that when I am not around all of my ties have secret meetings about me and discuss how fair, or unfair my choices are to each tie. My cat, Ducky, sits in judgment of each case and determines what punishment is appropriate for each infraction, and then acts accordingly.

When I mistreat a particular tie, and the offense is minor, she might try out the annoying meow that is amazingly loud for such a small animal. This punishment is administered when I am almost asleep, and she is somewhere on the floor. It is like a small siren that makes my heart race as if an ambulance is paying a visit to the house.

As level of tie offense escalates, so does my penalty. I might find a tasty hairball right where I step to get on, or off the bed- just to remind me that every tie should get a chance to leave the house for a little tie-cation.

Sometimes I awake in the middle of the night to find Ducky with her behind just inches away from my nose. I am sure this is some sort of cat threat, but I can’t exactly place it on the tie penalty scale. Even though nothing really happens, it is a scary event, and she knows I don’t like it.

The worst thing I can do is to totally disrespect a tie in front of his peers. Maybe I hold it up and say something like, “Oh God no! I can’t wear this tie. It is butt ugly!” The penalty, if you can imagine, is extreme. Ducky will climb up on the bed, and urinate right where I sleep.

Having animals and small children, my wife and I do have a plastic bed cover that protects the mattress from such harsh judgments. So no permanent damage is done, just an assault on my sleeping zone and the annoyance of being forced to change the sheets. My cat is smart, being 15 years old, she knows exactly how to upset me.

And all the ties in my closet rejoice…

Like this ugly one that I wore yesterday. Red background with a blue, yellow and white paisley design; I have never really liked this tie, but I was careful to not announce it in front of the other ties before leaving the house on Monday. The cat was watching me the whole time!

Tie a Day, Number 109

Last Monday I wore this tie. It seems like I am far behind in my tie blog, but I am not. Last week was the beginning of online SOL testing in my school and I decided to eliminate all extra things that were not SOL related, from my daily worries. So, I only wore one tie the whole week.

It sounds like overkill, but the SOL’s really stressed me out. I think they are wrong for students. My fear was that I would subconsciously do something to sabotage the test. I spent many days leading up to the tests, and during the tests, staying busy double and triple checking things, and mostly worrying. I did not want to be the SOL Test screw up poster boy!

Oddly enough, even thinking about what tie to go with what shirt seemed too much to do. I spent the whole week working hard at school, exercising and sleeping. And I killed a half gallon or more of ice cream. That is not normally my style, worrying about SOL’s, or anything else, but this was our first time testing on computers, and specifically laptops. Everything went well, so, back to the tie-

This tie is very earthy with its green background and brown and tan paisley design across it. It is not one of my favorite ties. I knew I was in trouble on Monday when it took me 10 minutes to pick out this tie. I basically gave up and decided I could not make any more tie choices for the week.

Tie a Day, Number 106

Tuesday's tie this week was a different type of design. In the past, I have always steered clear of this tie, but it worked with my normal color scheme so I tried it out. What is funny about this picture is that my left collar (the collar on your right) was sticking straight up and no one told me!

In the mornings, my two youngest children are trying to soak up all the Sponge Bob they can before leaving for the day, my wife is making sure everyone has what they need to survive a school day, and my oldest child is trying to take my picture very quickly so he can go back to watching Sponge Bob with the other two. The whole time this is happening, my dog Kona is furiously running around in circles all around us making barking/whimpering sounds. There is complete chaos, so I should be thankful that my collar sticking up is the only thing that is wrong with me on any given day.

Back to the tie... The solid blue background appeals to me. It is well known that I like paisley and the colors brown and off white fit in with my normal attire, but I have always had a problem with the plaid. The brown and off white make up the plaid design that is part of the background of the paisley design.

Still, this tie is far from being the ugliest tie I have, I haven't decided which tie fits that label but I know that the tie I wore on Thursday was close. Two more blog entries before I can share that little marvel of manly neckwear.

Tie a Day, Number 96

I have been running a bit behind lately, so I am sharing last Thursday's tie on the following Monday... Like anyone is keeping records!

This paisley wonder is a little thin for me and I think it is some sort of a fabric blend tie. If I were to grade this tie on a "Ties I Like Scale," I would give it a 5, but only because of the intricate paisley.

Manufactured in the 80's, this tie has been hanging in my closest for a long time. My father gave this tie to me early in my teaching career. When I was first hired as a teacher in the early part of 1990, I was told I needed to wear a tie every day for work. When I told my dad about my new dress requirements, he asked me to follow him up to his room. I remember standing there in front of his closet with my arm sticking straight out as he draped 20, or 30 ties over it.

Every visit back home, he would give me a couple of more ties. Over the first 3 or 4 years in teaching, my tie collection grew incredibly fast. Pants and shirts you can grow out of, or wear out. Sometimes they even go out of style, but I have found that ties can hang around almost forever.

I am pretty sure my father was only making room for new ties and giving me the ones he didn't like, but that is how hand me downs work, isn't it? Perhaps all of the ties he gave me were of little consequence to him, but to me, they have made a lasting impression.

Tie a Day, Number 89

Finally, I am caught up for the week!

Thursday's tie was a solid blue silk tie with a paisley pattern that you just can't make out from the picture. It was more of a texture than something you could see anywhere but close up.

It was odd, but yesterday an email was sent out from someone looking for 5 ugly ties. I have no idea what the project was, or if I would ever see them again, but I was happy to help out!

The ugly tie search began with tie number 51, this was the tie made of wool that I swore I would never wear again.

Next tie on the list, number 78, the tie with the Alien face design that I hated. I will not support the overthrow of humanity!

After that, I went to the unworn tie racks in my closet and picked out a really cheesy silk tie that I hate, a linen tie that is a train wreck and the only other wool tie that I think I own.

Five ugly ties have left my life. I will not miss any of them. I hope they have fun with their new owner!

Tie a Day, Number 88

Wednesday was day two of laptop install and battery removal, but I decided to wear a good tie.

This tie was not one of my favorites but it is a nice tie. Looking back at it now, I think it would have looked better with a purple shirt.

At some point on Wednesday, I looked at the Atlantis web site. It was a huge mistake because I have been distracted ever since. The whole family will be vacationing there over spring break!

The Doss family is ready for paradise, but is paradise ready for us?

Tie a Day, Number 85

Last Thursday I wore this interestingly subtle tie. The design on the tie is quite intricate with paisley, but the similarities in the colors allow the tie to be a bit more laid back than some of its brighter counterparts could ever possibly pull off. Not really a memorable tie, but a good choice for the day.

As I had mentioned, the day before, on Wednesday, was Amy's birthday. Being prepared for anything, or at least I thought I was, I asked her where she would like to go for her birthday dinner. She told me she wanted to go to the Cinema Cafe and see Alice in Wonderland with the kids.

It sounded like a great plan, so we rolled in there early enough to get a good table. As soon as we walked in the doors, Sam says he doesn't feel well. I really didn't give it much thought because we had just had cake, and he is 6, so sometimes I try to use my Jedi Mind Trick where I tell him that he feels ok, and I wave my hand like I am casting a spell on him.

Five minutes into the movie, he runs off to the bathroom with Amy and gets sick. I realized at this point that I really need to perfect my Jedi Mind Trick. Obi Wan makes it look so simple.

After Sam and Amy returned to the table, I became confused. I had forgotten all about the movie, but instead was worried about what to do next. Is Sam really sick? Was the cake bad? I ate two pieces and the rest of the family only had one. How in the world was I going to get home with a sick kid in my new mini van? If everyone else got sick too, what would I do then? Do I have any plastic bags in the vehicle?

When Sam made his second trip to the bathroom, I knew it was time to get him home fast. I grabbed Sam and told Amy to ask her mom to bring her and the other two kids home when the movie was over. Being a gambling man, I figured that I had 20 min to get Sam home before he would no longer be able to contain himself.

The trip time from the Cinema Cafe to our house is approximately 15- 20 minutes. The entire time home Sam was having intense stomach cramps while moaning and screaming in pain. Sitting behind me in his booster seat, I tried to hold his hand while I drove home as he writhed in agony.

It is an oddly helpless feeling when you can't do anything but drive and tell your child to practice slow, deep breathing exercises to keep his stomach from cramping. All the while you are driving as fast as you can, avoiding all bumps, sharp turns or sudden stops.

He made it.

While Amy's birthday dinner may not have been what was planned, it will certainly never be forgotten.

Tie a Day, Number 81

On St. Patrick’s Day, our school had a fundraiser for the Relay for Life team that we sponsor. Everyone chipped in $2 and we could wear jeans and something green to celebrate the holiday. Relay is an easy cause for me to support.

My mother died from cancer when I was still in college. While she did not die from breast cancer, it was cancer that was responsible for her death. I always try to support causes for cancer research. One year I even dressed up in drag to help raise money for the cause- no, I will not be sharing that picture! But, I will have to say that I look good in red…

On Thursday, I decided to get my green out. I was a day late, but with a nearly all green tie just begging to be worn, I had to do it. I wore a green shirt and a green tie that has little red paisley like designs surrounded by a white outline. This is the only green tie that I have ever really liked.

Tie a Day, Number 80

I have been in a pretty good mood all week. Maybe it is because I have been picking my favorite ties to wear, or my perhaps good mood causes me to pick ties I like. I haven’t figured out the cause and effect relationship between my mood and my ties yet…

The tie I wore on Tuesday has been one of my favorites for a long time. I remember wearing this tie when I was first hired as a Kindergarten teacher in 1990. I would wear this tie, and at 23, I felt like a serious grown up going to work. I know, I am old now.

Kindergarten, as I have explained before, is rough on ties, and this tie has suffered through its share of wear and tear. The back tie loop that holds the skinny part of the tie in place is gone, and the white silk backing on the tie is discolored from dipping the end of the tie into coffee, water, paint and whatever else it collided with in its travels.

But still, this tie shimmers in the light and looks pretty good with the amoeba like paisley designs scattering the deep blue background. I have no idea if it is in or out of style, but I do know that I love this tie because it reminds me of when I was young and foolish. It always makes me smile.

Tie a Day, Number 67

Looking back on Monday’s tie I think it was a mistake. I was going for a study in blue, but the blue shirt with blue vertical stripes along with the tie with light blue to grey paisley pattern just doesn’t look right to me. The tie’s pattern reminds me of drapes that you might find in an old mansion that is dusty with sheets covering the furniture.

This tie also bothered me because ties are supposed to have a keeper tab on the back to hold the back thin part of the tie in place behind the larger front part. This tie didn’t have a loop. It seems that the loop was lost in the tie’s travel from the 80’s to today. I can only guess at the excitement that could result in a missing tie loop.

I like to think my father was engaged in a battle with a group of rogue ninja assassins when this important part of the tie was lost. Or maybe it was because of a bear attack that the tie’s aft restraint system was ripped from its rightful place. The world will never know.

People have asked me, “Hey, why don’t you just get a tie pin, or a tie clasp?”

The answer is simple, I hate them. While it can be annoying at times to have your tie flapping around like some sort of man flag, most of the time it is fine. I don’t work with heavy duty machinery that the tie can get caught in and result in me being pulled to a grisly death, and I rarely hang upside down like a monkey so that my tie is in my face.

Monday’s tie was not my favorite, the style was wrong for me, and the front and back see-sawed all over the place the entire day. The best part about having so many ties is that I can stick this one in the back of the rack and wait till a better shirt comes along.

Tie a Day, Number 61

Yesterday, after my fourth day of being trapped in my house because of snow, I decided I had to do something. So I had my hair trimmed (even though it was short, it was sprouting up all over and getting on my nerves) and then I went to Kohl’s. Normally, I just get what I go there for and then I leave, but since I had been holed up in my house for so long, I became fascinated by the most ridiculous things.

In my wanderings I stopped in the tie zone. It was amazing! Approximately 90% of the ties were ugly. Most of the ties were bold and offensive to the eye. Some were similar to the mid 80’s thin ties while others were just odd. The exception to this is the Jerry Garcia collection. I like all of the JG ties.

Plain white ties in both thick and thin flavors? Do men wear this? Where are they? I thought that was a Miami Vice thing from the 80’s…

Part of the problem was that I was seeing the ties standing alone without a friendly shirt to show its best side to the world. The second issue influencing my negative opinion of the tie selection was my complete lack of any kind of a sense of fashion. What do I know about fashion, and really, owning a bunch of ties doesn’t mean I know anything about them.

I only know what I will wear; and it won’t be any of those ties. Besides, me buying a tie is a bit silly when I have around 80 ties left to wear this year.

Today’s tie I picked out alone. Sam must have forgotten about my daily tie needs with the delayed opening and the added confusion of the day being a half a day for students.

This black tie is from the late 80’s and is accented by paisley designs (from my visit to Kohl’s I have gathered paisley is still ok on ties) that are separated by vine like structures. The brown, green, tan and grey in the design goes nice with the black background. Not the greatest tie ever, but I like it and worked. It was just a bonus that it didn’t make me feel like an extra on Miami Vice.

Tie a Day, Number 59

Tuesday's tie was one that I picked out. Sam forgot to help me.

This brown paisley masterpiece is attractive but not overwhelming. The large pattern, with an intricate design using tan, brown and ivory as the main colors, is very nice.

Sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed by the world. I need to get back to the basics and come down to earth. This tie keeps me firmly rooted to the ground using earthy tones and a natural design. Whether I am trudging through the jungle or attending a dinner party, this tie lets me be comfortable with who I am.

Big Brown and Tan Paisley Vintage Tie, circa 1989, $27.50, J. Peterman Catalog, p. 27