Spam

I have always hated Spam. I always practice the same technique that I preach to my teachers- delete and forget. I rarely give these unwanted pieces of external contact any thought at all. Until the other day…


I was checking my text messages on my phone and came across one from someone I did not know. I was curious because I have never received a spam text message- this was my first. So I looked at the message. It used a term that I was not familiar with, so I really had to look at it hard and think, "What does that mean?"

I must admit, it took me about five minutes to figure it out- I am apparently not very bright. The term that confused me was “FILF.” For those of you who are slow, like me, it basically means- Father I'd Like to "get friendly with," (I did edit the explanation a little).

For a middle aged man, this was the most flattering message I have had in years! I was strutting around the house like a new man. I said things to my wife like, "Hey baby, check me out. I am FILFy!"

Amy said, "Yes, you are filthy," and became amused whenever I attempted to correct her intentional mispronunciation of my new title. I don't think she understands what an incredible ego boost that text message was for me. I don't exactly fantasize about some FILFy list floating around out there in cyberspace with my name on it, but wouldn't that be totally cool?
Wow! Me, FILFy at 41, who would have thought it? If my mom were alive, I am sure she would be very proud...

I think it is important to thank people who make me feel good inside, so I would like to thank Emma- you know who you are! Of course, it would be wrong to contact her directly- even if her email address did work (her URL didn't work either), so I won't. I don't think that her "random" act of kindness will be forgotten when she is sitting in judgment before the Lord (it should definately be a bonus for her, or is it a him?). It couldn't really be a random selection, could it? Wasn't I picked special? None of the other guys I talked to about this were sent a FILFy message.

In any case, I am going to choose to call this a positive experience and wear my FILFy label proudly. I will try to keep my looks up for my adoring fans, even if my wife doesn't appreciate my FILFiness. Maybe I can hold on to my title for a few years before graduating to FFOG (Fabulous and "Friendly" Old Guy) status. I just made that up, but it sounded good to me.

I thought it would be nice if I shared some news in my blog about some "good" spam for a change instead of the spam that makes you feel like you are incomplete as a person without the special creams, pills, or diet plans the email is trying to sell you. Those other emails make me angry. They are just assuming too much. I don't need any of that stuff. Hey, I didn't have to buy my FILFiness, it was presented to me in a little 63 character text message.
Me? I'm FILFy and you just can't take that away from me now. :-)