The holidays for me are time of mixed feelings. The joy of what is to come and sadness for what is lost. I feel anxiety over what I need to do, should do, and what I want to do for others. I guess you might say I worry.
It helps to know that I am not the only one concerned about things to the point of worrying. Sometimes it amuses me to hear what other people worry about, and it allows me to put my own worries into perspective. I hope others think my worries are funny.
Alfred E. Newman, "What, me worry?" Mad Magazine
I worry that;
...the newest ache, pain, cough, or sneeze is the first step to a new Ebola like disease outbreak.
...the HDMI cable that the Target guy put in my bag, but forgot to ring up, has me on most wanted posters (didn't realize it until I left the store- I am going to take it back, maybe even today).
...I look like an idiot when I speak, walk, stand or do just about anything really. I am pretty sure I do, but I try not to care about it.
...when I pick up a tool I will break whatever I touch.
...aliens are plotting to transform the earth into a giant farmer's market and I am a juicy tomato.
...whatever I choose to do is not nearly as much fun as the thing I passed up.
...there is an asteroid with our name on it floating around out there in space.
...greenhouse effect gases coming from cows will destroy the ozone.
...bad things will happen to Brittany Spear's children because of her reckless behavior.
Some of these things are genuine concerns, others not so much, but that is just the tip of the iceberg. I think the problem that I have, as well as all of the other worriers out there, is that worrying gives you an odd feeling of power over what you are worrying about. This is a total illusion. Worrying causes many more problems that it ever solves. It makes people unhappy so that they can't enjoy what they have right now.
I think worrying comes from a time in human history when worrying was needed to survive. It allowed man to plan against dangers to himself and his family. Shared worries helped man to learn to work together and build society so that more people would live. Worrying is an evolutionary leftover- like an appendix.
Now, approximately 99% of the things I worry about I have no control over. How does that help me or anyone else? So, I am trying to give up worrying. It is not easy because I have quite a bit of quality practice time under my belt. I started getting really good at worrying after I decided to settle down. Before that, I was able to pursue my hedonistic lifestyle with very few worries.
I became a "Worry Master" after after my wife became pregnant the first time. Children really have a way of bringing that out in a person. After child number three, worries consumed me. Men are not supposed to worry in our society, they are supposed to do something. When things are beyond your control and yet you continue to worry, well, it can make you a bit conflicted at times.
I am thinking that I need to try to give up worrying about the past and the future, and just concentrate on making the present the best I can. I try to experience my anger and quickly let it go. I run with my dog as often as I can. I play with my kids as much as they will allow me to play. I try to behave in a fun loving way and avoid those people that make me unhappy. Unfortunately, I still watch the news and look at Internet news sites- an industry that thrives on making people worry.
A life without worry may only be possible for coma patients and very young children, but it seems to be a worthy goal in life. Maybe now I can give up my lucky underwear and accept that no matter what I do in life I do not have an impact on all that I worry about, and let it go.
For a believer in the Chaos Theory this is a problem. If the butterfly effect is true, then isn't it possible that if I don't wear my lucky underwear my team could lose? I think I may have found something else to worry about...