Personal Assistant

I have been struggling with my blog lately. There have been many things that I have wanted to share, but the time is not available when I am the most motivated, so I procrastinate. It could be that it is the winter blahs, or maybe I just need a little help.

Luckily, I think I have found a solution. I need my own private Sven. I saw it on a commercial, so it must be good. I bet that others could benefit from this personal assistant idea, too.

I would be an ideal person to work for. Every once in a while I need a good smack- who doesn't want to smack their boss? Some days I just need to be brought down a peg. On other days, a good joke and a cookie might get me back on track. If my assistant can carry around a little notebook and remind me of things, that would be the best.

Its not like I am Paula Abdul or anything. I think I would easy to work with, but there is the money issue- as in, I don't have any.

Maybe I could turn this idea into a social works project. I like the sound of, "Homeless Helper." I could just go down to the shelter and pick one up. I would want a young one so that I could mold him into the ideal assistant. Maybe I could even name him Sven. That would be cool!
Wait, there is a problem here. Who is really going to let me rename them? And I can't pay, even for Karate lessons...

Maybe I should just spend more time with my dog. She licks me and that always makes me feel better. Every once in a while she has an accident that I have to clean up-that is a great way to put me in my place. Maybe I could even get her to remind me of things- if I could just get her to wear sticky notes. Then my only remaining problem would be how could I take her everywhere with me? I could fake blindness! But then my notes would have to be in braille, and I can't read braille...

I am going to have to put more thought into this idea. Stupid commercial!

What do lawmakers really do?

I must admit that I am not a particularly political person, I have political positions, but more often than not, they really do not align with any particular party. I do not trust politicians and I often question the motives behind their actions.

I say this because Lionell Spruill, a Virginia Delegate representing Chesapeake, has proposed a bill to ban the dangling synthetic male parts (don't look if you are easily offended) that often adorn trucks. This bothers me on many levels.

I think this is a complete waste of time. Don't we have real laws that need to be proposed? Aren't there other problems that need to be solved?

I am big of the first amendment rights. Isn't this an infringement of free speech? If this accessory is banned, then what's next? The urinating picture of Calvin (once again, if you get the idea and are easily offended- don't look) over various icons (Chevy, Ford, Cowboys, etc.)? Or perhaps, curse words on bumper stickers? While I will be the first to admit that these are classless car decorations, they do add a bit of flavor to life, and give me something to talk about while I am out and about with my children. The slippery slope (I realize that this is typically not a valid argument, but legal precedence can, at the very least, take years and a lot of court time to undo) to thought crimes isn't as far as you might think.

The part that bothers me the most is that if this bill is passed and these offensive, anatomically correct, bull parts are banned from the back of trucks in the state of Virginia, I will lose a ton of my favorite comedy material. For me, there is nothing like driving down the road and hollering to the the back seat, "Hey kids, look! There's a male truck!" This is enormously funny to me because they don't get it. Sure, I borrowed the line from "The Three Amigos," but I tweaked it so that I could feel like I owed it. My wife always groans when I do it, but she appreciates good comedy, she has just heard the joke before.

Every once in a while, I will threaten to get a set for my vehicle- to the horror of my wife. I enjoy the fact that she is so opposed to it and it cracks me up to imagine something like that behind the family minivan. I would love to hook up a pair and see how long it takes her to notice.

But, all of that fun will be over if Mr. Spruill has his way. Maybe he is just mad because he got kicked off the cool House Appropriations Committee and he is trying to attract attention and feel important again.

I am just curious, but I wonder if his car could benefit from a new accessory? You know, they do come in solid metal forms and a master lock would securely attach the offending male parts to his vehicle. If only I were younger and more carefree, and hadn't given away my ninja suit...

Updated Jan. 16th- I am ahead of the local newspaper! This is obviously an important issue.

The Best Christmas Present Ever

The roller coaster ride that is the 2007 Washington Redskins' season continues. I have shared some of the low points this year, but not all of them. Now that it seems we are climbing the big hill at the start of the ride, I can talk about the present with a bit more optimism.

Sean Taylor's death was by far the worst thing that has happened this year. Until now I had refused to talk about it. Sean was my favorite player. His original jersey, 36 as a rookie, is the only team jersey I own. He had speed, strength, and passion for the game. Best of all, he didn't talk to reporters.

I know that his murder affected the team far more than it did me. I did not know how they would react, but I hoped and prayed that they would make this tragedy a source of emotional strength and play up to their abilities, and they have!

The game that changed the Skins year was the game against Chicago on 12/06/07. I was there! This was 3 days after burying Sean. We, the team and fans of Washington, were at an all time low. The playoffs were a complete fantasy. There were no expectations for anything but more losses and finishing the season as quietly as possible.

This is the picture I took from my seat of the Drunk Guy capture.

Sitting in the cold stands in early December, I thought the best thing that could happen all night was the drunk guy that ran onto the field and chest bumped a Bear player before being tackled by 20 security guards. That always cracks me up. I was wrong. Blessings come in many different forms. This one appeared to be another disaster.

I had scrambled down from my seat and was standing inside the club level watching the game on the big screen TV's FedEx Field has, when I saw Jason Campbell go down. The strange thing was that he was holding his knee cap which had suddenly decided that it was time to relocate to the side of his leg. Ouch! I immediately bought another beverage. Depression was right around the corner.

Todd Collins strolls into the game and leads us to a victory. Every cloud has a ... burgundy and gold lining? Still seems weird. Expectations for the redskins still remained low. So what did they do? Win three more games- Giants, Vikings and the Cowboys -and make the playoffs. Incredible!

The only problem is now the Redskins are playing well. This doesn't seem like a problem on the surface. Todd has been nearly perfect. The Defence is playing an aggressive hard hitting style that squashed Adrian Peterson and held the Cowboys to 1 rushing yard in the last game of the season (this is the lowest rushing total in the history of the Cowboys franchise). I say that playing well is a problem because people in the media are actually saying good things about the Redskins! I wish they wouldn't do that because I am not used to it. I am used to media coverage where the Redskins are ignored or mentioned as an afterthought.

Take the Skins vs Dallas game the other day. Guess who was calling the game on TV? Troy Aikman. Isn't that wack? I mean, he spent his entire career in Dallas hating the Redskins. His career was ended by a Redskin- Lavar Arrington. Even though Troy was calling the game, by the end of the game I could swear he was saying nice things about the Redskins. It was like being transported to Bizzaro World.

But the strangest thing about the Dallas game was the difference in the score at the end of the game. 21 points. Sean Taylor's jersey number. Very symbolic for a team that is looking for something to hold onto and motivate them to the next level.

I don't know what the playoffs will bring, but I feel very good about the Redskins chance for glory. The Redskins making the playoffs was the best Christmas present that I could have received this year. I hope that Sean's memory continues to inspire greatness in the Skins and they really make some noise this year, but for right now, I am happy. I know that Sean is happy for the Redskins, too.

Grinch continued...

As I promised yesterday, I made a slide show from children's Kid Pix pictures that were made to show a scene from the story, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I created a slide show from kids pictures that I collected in 2001 and 2002. I figured that would protect me from offending anyone or divulging any information about the students (I cut out any part of a picture that had the first and last name of the student). It also shows that I have done this for quite a few years.



I have passed the halfway point in reading the story this year. I only have to read it about 6 more times! I do love the story, but cramming 22 readings into a week wears me out like few other things do. Maybe it is because I try really hard to get into the story using voice inflection, and I attempt to become the characters. Subconsciously, in many ways I copy the Chuck Jones cartoon version. Or maybe it is consciously, now that I have thought about it? In any case, it has been ingrained in me that this is the way the story is supposed to be read, and so every reading is like a recreation of the cartoon (if only in my mind).

I have memorized the entire story. This is not really an accomplishment considering how many times I have read it, but it does lead to some strange things that I have noticed that happen when I share the Grinch.

Sometimes I get lost in the story. It is like when you are driving and suddenly look up and realize you don't know where you are or how you got there, before you snap back to reality. This is very odd when you are in the middle of a story and "reading" with emphasis. And I never miss a beat. How can that happen?

Every once in a while I will mess up one word and know it the second it leaves my mouth. No one else knows, but I still feel like the story is then less than perfect and I have failed my class in some kind of small, but personally significant way.

In nine out of ten classes, some kid will question one if not two words that I read; chimbley and roast-beast. Every time it happens, I want to stop and explain artistic license and the importance of being able to rhyme with the words nimbly and feast.

Well, by Friday at around 11:30am, it will be another year down, and another 460 or so students that I have shared The Grinch with... Ahhhh!

The Grinch

Every year, since I became a kindergarten teacher in 1990, I have shared one of my favorite books of all time just before the winter holiday, Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas. This means I have shared this story for possibly 17 years with a couple thousand children or so.

I think that I became struck with the story when I was a child watching the Chuck Jones adaptation of the story. I love the book because it shows that even if you make a mistake in life there is a chance at redemption. It is also a reminder to me that Christmas really is more than shopping, and getting stuff. It is more about the joy of being with people that you love and showing kindness to those you don't even know- just because it is the right thing to do.

Now that I am a computer resource teacher in an elementary school, I share the story with around 22 classes every year (K-2 grade). I have created a lesson around the Grinch, and I would like to share it.

First, I read the story.

I read this story to a group of kindergartners today. I thought it was appropriate considering where I began this tradition.

After the story, I explain to the children how they can use tools in the program Kid Pix to create their own picture of the Grinch, or another character from the story.

The tools in Kid Pix allow the children a chance to be creative in expressing their own vision of the story with some pretty good graphics tools. I have created slide shows in the past of student's pictures and they generally turn out to be pretty good for pictures made by young people with only 15 minutes or so to make one. I will try to add a slide show tomorrow...

It seems like such a small thing to do, but it is my way of sharing something that I truly love with students that I work with at my school. It is a pretty lame Christmas present to get, but it has a lot of meaning for me when I share the Grinch with children. I hope the web enjoys it, too.

Merry Christmas!
:-)
Al

Merry Christmas!

Christmas is a time of opposites. For me it is both the happiest time of the year and the most sad, but I think it is also very confusing for the rest of the country as well.

Black Friday- this is the first shopping day after Thanksgiving. Thursday is Thanksgiving when we share good times with family and friends. Friday is the next day when stores open up at 4 am to angry, out for blood, crowds of serious bargan hunters. I made the mistake of going to Circuit City this year on Black Friday and I was seriously worried about the safety of my son and myself for that brief 20 minutes of chaos. Why is the first official Christmas shopping day more like war than Peace on Earth?

Holiday lights- Hanging holiday lights outside of a house is crazy. Last year I almost fell off the roof. This year I am really into the minimalist approach. A string of lights around the front steps at my house and a blow up Santa and reindeer in the yard. I hope this will be enough. It makes me angry to think that others may believe that I have less holiday spirit because I don't have lights all over the place. I have spirit! Yes, I do! I have spirit, how about you!

Salvation Army bell ringers- Where are they all year long? Every time I pass one going into a store, and coming out of the very same store, I give them money. My kids are trained so that when they see anyone standing outside of a store they beg me fror money to give to them. Half of the time I have to say things like, "No baby. That is the Guy collecting grocery carts." It is a good thing to give to the less fortunate, but where are the bell ringers the rest of the year? Wouldn't they make more money to help others if they were collecting year around?

Giving- I enjoy giving people things that they really want. I think this is the best part of the season, but commericials have warped what I think I need to give to my wife to make her happy. If you watch those commercials, it would seem that I am a very bad husband because I do not give my wife diamonds for Christmas that are big enough to choke your dog, or a new Lexus with a great big red ribbon on it. I am not a rich man. What does an unwealthy husband give his wife for Christmas? A dustbuster (I did this once- not a very popular decision)?

Christmas cards- Every year I try to take a picture of the family and send it out as a Christmas card. I send the digital photo in (online) to Walmart and the next day I have 40 cards ready to go. I also like to make my own stamps at stamps.com. This year we are using our dog Kona as the official Doss Christmas stamp of '07. The part I hate is sending them out. But this year I am going to do my best to get them all out before this weekend.

More later...

Fun with Technology

Last week I had a meeting with other Computer Resource Specialists (CRSs). We each brought cookies to the meeting and then shared our recipes in a digital story telling kind of way- similar to the Cog Dog Roo -50 ways to tell a story.

I tried a new (to me) web tool. Voicethread.com is kind of like a slide show with running narration. Pretty cool, small glitches though-

1) Mysteriously, the sound did not record on one of my computers. Switched computers and it was fine. the mic was on but no sound. Odd.

2) I tried to import pictures from Flicker, like it said I could, but voicethread went into some kind of crazy loop that used all of my voicethreads up at once. You get three of the stories for free- so I deleted the 3 blank threads and up-loaded the pictures from the computer.

3) After I got my 2nd computer going and recorded myself on all the slides, some of the slides got stuck and wouldn't play my recording. I was a bit annoyed after I had made the 4th or 5th recording for a slide.

Here is the Voicethread that I made. To sum up, interesting tool, and you can't complain too much about something that is free. I would use it again, but I also saw something another CRS made using RockYou.com, I want to do something on that site... wish it was able to go full screen though.

I learned a lot about making cookies through the semi-failure of the baking experience. Unfortunately it won't help this poor batch of sugar cookies. That's ok, they still taste the same. I do have a new respect for those who take to time to make some good looking and good tasting food. It is hard work, and there is definitely a learning curve there!